Yesterday I and two of my fellow interns shared our testimonies and thoughts on Acts 3:1-10 as part of the intern-led service. I’m sharing my part on here, not because I think it’s particularly worthy to be shared, but because it expresses part of my personal journey around physical healing, identity and faith, and I hope and pray that others will also find it helpful.
When I was looking at this evening’s passage, the first thing that struck me was that the man had been “lame from birth”. If I had been born in 1st century Judea, I, too, would have been lame from birth. I was born with two clubbed feet, now correctable with an operation unavailable at the time of this passage. The challenges we face, be they physical or otherwise, can become a huge part of our identities. In some ways this is to be expected, for, as Paul writes in Romans 5, “suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” However, our primary identity, having accepted Jesus as Lord and Saviour, is as children of God. That’s not always easy to hold on to, and throughout my life, I have found myself having to consciously remind myself that who I am is defined by God, and not by the physical limitations of my body. My first challenge is this: Where do you find your identity?
In this passage, the man’s life, and therefore his identity, revolved around sitting at the Beautiful Gate and hoping that others would give him what he needed to survive. His identity was bound up in his dependence on others, to carry him to the gate, to give him money, to carry him home again. This goes hand in hand with his identity as someone who is lame. In the moment of his healing, this man’s identity is turned on its head, from a beggar totally dependent on other people to provide for his needs, to someone who those same people on whom he was dependent see and consequently praise God. His identity is now as the man who “WAS” lame, but healed in the name of Jesus. His life and identity are now defined by what God has done for him in Jesus. Not all of us will have experienced physical healing of this magnitude, but we have all met God and experienced His Spirit. When God meets with us, our lives and our identities are changed. We become new creations, and our identity becomes defined by Him rather than ourselves, our difficulties, or even our achievements. Where are you finding your identity?
At the same time, however, we have to acknowledge that not everyone is physically healed. I have personally experienced both healing and the disappointment of not being physically healed. Age 16 I went to Soul Survivor in a wheelchair, unable to stand unaided and unable to write, was prayed for, and was instantaneously healed, able to stand, walk and write. However, the limitations in my feet remain as they were since my operation, my muscles are weaker than other peoples, and, as you will have noticed, I am seated today, because standing for the length of this sermon is difficult and painful for me. I have been prayed for many times, and I have had some answers, where God very clearly, and very explicitly told me to do the physio I had been point blank refusing to do. However, as yet, I have not experienced complete healing. And I have often asked God “why?”
When I was seriously ill as a teenager, someone suggested to me that the reason I hadn’t been healed was that I “didn’t have enough faith”. Apart from that being one of the most damaging things that can be said to someone who is desperately crying out to God for healing, it is also theologically wrong! When we look at this passage, we do not see the beggar exercising faith. He only expects Peter and John to give him the same as anyone else might give him – a small amount of money! He did not expect to receive anything from God, and so, it would seem, he did not demonstrate any ‘faith’. Similarly, the evening that Jesus healed me, at Soul Survivor with my youth group, I was not expecting to receive anything from God. I was angry and jealous, because I had just listened to a lady sharing about all the amazing healings God had done across the world, and I thought “Why not me? That’s not fair!” I was so angry that when we were invited forward to receive prayer for healing, I resolutely stayed where I was in my wheelchair. I did however permit my friend to get our youth leaders to pray for me. In doing so, I opened myself to being willing to receive God’s healing. Likewise, by responding to Peter’s command and taking his hand in order to stand, the beggar showed himself willing to receive God’s healing, and, at that point, his ankles become strong and he is healed. Whilst Peter and John exercised that which we would automatically recognise as faith, the beggar simply showed himself willing to receive the gift of God that was offered. Sometimes it is hard for those of us who have repeatedly asked for healing and find ourselves disappointed to keep ourselves open to receive healing from God. I have been prayed for so many times, and the longer it goes without that prayer being answered, the more painful and seemingly riskier it gets to go for prayer yet again. Recently I was given wise advice, that whenever prayer is offered, I should quietly and personally ask God whether a particular word or a particular moment is for me, and open myself up to receive from God again. Therefore, to those of you who, like me, have experienced this kind of painful disappointment, I share this with you, and encourage you to also keep yourself open to receiving from God.
repairerofwalls 