Asking for wisdom (James 1:1-8)

This week I started a new series of studying the book of James for myself. I haven’t got very far (it’s only been 2 days, after all), but as I reflected on the opening verses of this epistle, I felt I should share my thoughts. My reason is not that I think my reflections are so ground-breaking or astoundingly brilliant, but rather that I know that these reflections are significant for me as I begin my new job and that they are also very challenging. Therefore, I need to be kept accountable to these, and so, you, my friends, have the privilege of reading these thoughts, so you can help me in this! (If I tagged you when I shared this, it’s because we often talk, catch up and pray together, so I think it’s probably good you know about it!)

The author is generally believed to be Jesus’ brother, and yet, here, he introduces himself simply as His servant, acknowledging Jesus as Lord, and as the Messiah. James is writing to the twelve tribes who are “in the Dispersion”(Jas 1:1), i.e. outside of Israel. James, Jesus’ brother, was the head of the Church in Jerusalem, and so he could be writing a letter of teaching from the Christians in Jerusalem to their brothers and sisters in the wider Roman Empire, although the reference to the “twelve tribes” (Jas 1:1) suggests that he is likely to be writing to Jewish believers, some the descendants of the original Jewish Diaspora, who are likely to have experienced many trials and persecution, such as described in Acts 17.

With this audience in mind, James writes “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds” (Jas 1:2), reasoning that through the testing of faith perseverance, or in the ESV ‘steadfastness’, is produced (Jas 1:3). To me this means that through any kind of trial, we find that it is easy to persevere in our faith, which becomes more steadfast, unshakeable. James writes that we should “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” If perseverance is necessary for maturity and completion, so too are the trials that produce it. But what does it mean to consider the trials ‘pure joy’? Is the joy the same as happiness? If so, it seems almost impossible to “rejoice in the Lord always” (Phil 4:4), as Paul tells us, or, as James instructs, to count trials as joy. The continuation of Phil 4 gives us a clue. The command to rejoice is so often paired with the command to make thanksgiving to God (Phil 4:6), even as we bring our requests to God. Paul also emphasises this in 1 Thess 5:16-18, exhorting the Christians in Thessalonica to “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” This understanding of joy, makes sense, for me, when I read James’ words. I can be thankful to God for trials because of that what they result in, perseverance and steadfastness in faith, and in so doing I count them as joy. Peter too, talks of trials and testing resulting in joy (1 Pt 1:4). Whilst thankfulness is only a small part of the Christian understanding of joy, I think that it is one of the most helpful for understanding James’ thought at the beginning of his letter.

Another aspect of counting a trial as ‘joy’ is that this must entail a willing surrender to God, trusting Him to use that trial to bring steadfast/persevering faith.

James concludes v4, which urges his readers to let perseverance have its full effect, by explaining that by so doing they would be “lacking nothing”. The next verse, James becomes more specific, addressing those who are lacking in wisdom, encouraging such a person to ask God for it. James reminds us that God “gives generously to all without reproach”. For myself, as I am about to start a new job, working in situations I haven’t previously experienced, and people I do not currently know, I realise that wisdom is something I am lacking. James’ exhortation encourages me to ask for this. James, however, couples this encouragement with a word of caution, that such a person should not doubt when asking for this, because if they do, they will not receive anything. I have previously read this passage as referring to how much I believe that I will receive what I ask, and that is how I have mainly heard it preached. However, today, a different thought occurred to me, having read it in the context of the previous verses. James describes the person who doubts as “double-minded”, which suggests to me that James could be more referring to someone who only half wants what they have asked for. If, to not be lacking anything, one needs the perseverance/ steadfastness that comes through trials of various kinds, then, when someone asks for wisdom, they are in fact asking for a trial through which they will grow in wisdom. If this is the case, then someone may ask for wisdom, and then, realising what they are actually asking, become double-minded, unsure, in fact doubting, whether they really want what they ask for.

That thought is a big challenge for me. I know that I need to ask for wisdom, but I know that that will, most likely, be learnt through trials, be that at work, church or in my home community. It will then be tempting to ask God to stop the trial, or regret asking God for wisdom, because the trials seem too difficult. Therefore, I ask you, my friends, to hold me accountable to this. I ask that, if, when we catch up, I mention that I am struggling with a ‘trial’ at work, or elsewhere, you remind me of this blog post, of what I have asked God for, and why it is important. I know that my heavenly Father loves me, and that, when there are trials, I can cry out to him in the midst of the frustration and pain that they bring, just as Jesus did “Father, take this cup from me”, but I want to be able to also say “Not my will, but yours be done”. My trials will be nowhere near as hard, painful or monumental as Jesus’, but I do still need to be prepared to willingly surrender to God, and give thanks for trials through which God will build my faith, and particularly the wisdom I will need in the future. But I’ll need help with that, so please pray for me, and encourage me to keep trusting God in the ups and downs of work and life.

Thanks 🙂

New Beginnings

It’s a time of new beginnings! I am excited to announce that I have a job, back in Leicester, which I will be starting on 21st September, and that I, hopefully, have found a very cute 1 bed bungalow to rent, close to the church that I am thinking of joining! I will be Property Services Administrator for Advance UK, a charity providing support workers and/or housing for vulnerable adults, primarily those with learning difficulties, mental health problems, or both. I am looking forward to this new season of my life, and discovering what it means to serve God a) in a secular work environment, b) with the particular team and charity with whom I will work and c) in serving the vulnerable adults who are our customers, to the best of my ability.

I am, at the same time, nervous. This will be first ‘proper’ job, and it wasn’t one which I ever envisaged myself doing. As I left St John’s last year, I was very insistent that I wasn’t going to work in the secular job sector, but would look for jobs in churches and Christian charities, as I struggled to see how God would use my particular skills, personality and passions within the secular sector. That’s not to say I thought I couldn’t be used, just that I wasn’t sure how! As many of my friends from school and university probably remember, I am very passionate about sharing the good news of Jesus, and whilst I understand the importance of how I act and live as part of that, I also firmly believe that that, on its own, is insufficient. As Paul writes in Rom 10:13-15

…for, ‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’

How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!

I have always believed that how I live is a witness to others, but without the opportunity to share why I live as I do, and who it is I serve, those people to whom I am witness will never know what, or rather, who, I am a witness for! And so, I talked about Jesus with almost every opportunity. It used to be half a joke in my family that pretty much every conversation I had would end up being about Jesus! In many ways that is great, but witness within the secular world has to be much more subtle than that. Whilst I knew that that is also true within Christian ministry, I was scared that I would be a ‘caged bird’ if I went to work in an environment where I might not be able to mention Jesus’ name freely.

In March, my vicar and DDO suggested that the next step for me (after the internship I have just completed) would be to apply for work within a secular workplace for at least a couple of years. It would be an understatement to say that I wasn’t keen on that! So what changed? Well, I’m not entirely sure, but having left that meeting with an agreement that the next year would be another internship and THEN I’d look for a secular job, God started to do some new work in my heart. I knew that my vicar and DDO had suggested that because, ultimately, I need the life experience that such a job would give me, and that the primary reason for me not wanting to do so was not some great theological point, but that I was afraid. And, over the next couple of months, I had a growing feeling that another year’s internship, at a different church, just wasn’t right. It wasn’t the first suggestion of my vicar and DDO, and whilst it wasn’t ‘plan B’, it wouldn’t have been suggested if I had been happy with the suggestion of secular work. I had a growing sense of disquiet about following the second suggestion, and, following a day helping in our staff team ‘play in a day’ in a local school (which, yes, it was more ‘Christian’ than a usual secular setting), and conversations with my mentor and vicar, we agreed that I should, albeit a few months later than originally planned, start looking for a secular job. And God has provided. The assessment part of the interview went so badly that I said to myself as I left “if I get offered the job, it’s definitely God”… and a few days later, I received the offer call… so here I am!

I am still nervous about the ‘hows’ of serving God in this new work place, but it is clear that this is where God wants me for this season. The job combines my experience in administration with my experiences from last year and my passion for serving vulnerable adults within the UK. It will be challenging, and I know that I will have to go into the office each day totally relying on God. But I think, if it was anything other than that, I’d probably be in the wrong job! I can only serve Him in His strength. I can do nothing in my own strength, whatever my abilities and skills. There will be many new things happening over the next few weeks. But even if they weren’t new, I’d still need to rely on God. And I know that Jesus is always with me, be it in a new job, house and church, or whether things are staying the same. I’m excited to discover how God wants me to repair the broken walls of people’s lives, in the community in which I will live, in the workplace both the lives of our customers, and my colleagues, and in and through the church that I join.

Waiting

I’ve had a wonderful year this, I have learnt more than I could ever imagine I’d learn, been stretched and challenged more than I ever thought I could bear, and have started to hear God’s call on my life. And now I must move on, taking the next step. Stepping into the unknown, the dark and the fog. It’s scary. All I currently know is what I’m leaving behind – a wonderful ministry which I have had the privilege to serve in this year, a church family where I have been supported beyond measure, a house perfect for my needs, a job that I enjoy. All I know about the future is that I need to find a job, somewhere to live, and a church, preferably before the end of August! And all I can do, between job applications, is wait. Wait for the interviews. Wait for the job offer. Wait for God’s direction. Wait for where to even begin to look for somewhere to live. Wait for somewhere to live. Wait for God to show me the right church. I can visit, research, apply, pray, hope, scream, panic, but ultimately, all I can actually do is wait. Wait for God to show up and guide my steps. I’d love it if He gave me a torch.

As I write, I am reminded of that poem, “Gate of the Year” by Minnie Louise Haskins, which begins:

“And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: “Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.”
And he replied:
“Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.”
So I went forth, and finding the Hand of God, trod gladly into the night. And He led me towards the hills and the breaking of day in the lone East.”

I am starting a new year. Soon, I will likely be moving from the time when I count years purely in ‘school years’, September-August, to perhaps more often January-December, or even the tax year April-March. It’s a new season. I’d love it if God would give me a torch to light the next few steps. Sometimes He does, sometimes, His Word speaks so clearly to us that it is a definite “Lamp unto our feet, and a light unto our path”, but He only shows us as far as we need to know, when we need to know it. And often, that’s only the next step. So for now I must wait. And in that waiting, I must trust God, for He is the only one who knows the next step. Past experience and the testimony of others teaches me that God will provide for my needs, at just the right time, in His time. Yes, I must act, I must be pro-active. But worrying and anxiety, researching 2 steps ahead, or trying to second-guess where I’ll be isn’t helpful, and simply causes me to try to force things at my speed, in my way, and I have also learnt that that is really NOT a good idea. So now, it is time to wait, pray, and trust. I choose to remember Jesus’ words from Matthew 6:25-33

Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

 

Healing, identity and faith – a few thoughts on Acts 3

Yesterday I and two of my fellow interns shared our testimonies and thoughts on Acts 3:1-10 as part of the intern-led service. I’m sharing my part on here, not because I think it’s particularly worthy to be shared, but because it expresses part of my personal journey around physical healing, identity and faith, and I hope and pray that others will also find it helpful.

When I was looking at this evening’s passage, the first thing that struck me was that the man had been “lame from birth”. If I had been born in 1st century Judea, I, too, would have been lame from birth. I was born with two clubbed feet, now correctable with an operation unavailable at the time of this passage. The challenges we face, be they physical or otherwise, can become a huge part of our identities. In some ways this is to be expected, for, as Paul writes in Romans 5, “suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” However, our primary identity, having accepted Jesus as Lord and Saviour, is as children of God. That’s not always easy to hold on to, and throughout my life, I have found myself having to consciously remind myself that who I am is defined by God, and not by the physical limitations of my body.  My first challenge is this: Where do you find your identity?

In this passage, the man’s life, and therefore his identity, revolved around sitting at the Beautiful Gate and hoping that others would give him what he needed to survive. His identity was bound up in his dependence on others, to carry him to the gate, to give him money, to carry him home again. This goes hand in hand with his identity as someone who is lame. In the moment of his healing, this man’s identity is turned on its head, from a beggar totally dependent on other people to provide for his needs, to someone who those same people on whom he was dependent see and consequently praise God. His identity is now as the man who “WAS” lame, but healed in the name of Jesus. His life and identity are now defined by what God has done for him in Jesus. Not all of us will have experienced physical healing of this magnitude, but we have all met God and experienced His Spirit. When God meets with us, our lives and our identities are changed. We become new creations, and our identity becomes defined by Him rather than ourselves, our difficulties, or even our achievements. Where are you finding your identity?

At the same time, however, we have to acknowledge that not everyone is physically healed. I have personally experienced both healing and the disappointment of not being physically healed. Age 16 I went to Soul Survivor in a wheelchair, unable to stand unaided and unable to write, was prayed for, and was instantaneously healed, able to stand, walk and write. However, the limitations in my feet remain as they were since my operation, my muscles are weaker than other peoples, and, as you will have noticed, I am seated today, because standing for the length of this sermon is difficult and painful for me. I have been prayed for many times, and I have had some answers, where God very clearly, and very explicitly told me to do the physio I had been point blank refusing to do. However, as yet, I have not experienced complete healing. And I have often asked God “why?”

When I was seriously ill as a teenager, someone suggested to me that the reason I hadn’t been healed was that I “didn’t have enough faith”. Apart from that being one of the most damaging things that can be said to someone who is desperately crying out to God for healing, it is also theologically wrong! When we look at this passage, we do not see the beggar exercising faith. He only expects Peter and John to give him the same as anyone else might give him – a small amount of money!  He did not expect to receive anything from God, and so, it would seem, he did not demonstrate any ‘faith’. Similarly, the evening that Jesus healed me, at Soul Survivor with my youth group, I was not expecting to receive anything from God. I was angry and jealous, because I had just listened to a lady sharing about all the amazing healings God had done across the world, and I thought “Why not me? That’s not fair!” I was so angry that when we were invited forward to receive prayer for healing, I resolutely stayed where I was in my wheelchair. I did however permit my friend to get our youth leaders to pray for me. In doing so, I opened myself to being willing to receive God’s healing. Likewise, by responding to Peter’s command and taking his hand in order to stand, the beggar showed himself willing to receive God’s healing, and, at that point, his ankles become strong and he is healed. Whilst Peter and John exercised that which we would automatically recognise as faith, the beggar simply showed himself willing to receive the gift of God that was offered. Sometimes it is hard for those of us who have repeatedly asked for healing and find ourselves disappointed to keep ourselves open to receive healing from God. I have been prayed for so many times, and the longer it goes without that prayer being answered, the more painful and seemingly riskier it gets to go for prayer yet again. Recently I was given wise advice, that whenever prayer is offered, I should quietly and personally ask God whether a particular word or a particular moment is for me, and open myself up to receive from God again. Therefore, to those of you who, like me, have experienced this kind of painful disappointment, I share this with you, and encourage you to also keep yourself open to receiving from God.

A Challenge

Yesterday, God challenged me. I have always been passionate about justice, originally wanting to study law, until I discovered that legality and justice aren’t the same thing. I now work in a church with some of the most marginalised people in my church, and outside of it, and I love it. But as I read Amos 8, a new challenge came to me.

This chapter expresses the LORD’s complaint that the Israelites were only being just at the times at which they were required or expected to be, to the point of waiting for those times to be over, so that they could live their lives as they wanted to:

Hear this, you who trample the needy
and do away with the poor of the land, saying,

“When will the New Moon be over
that we may sell grain,
and the Sabbath be ended
that we may market wheat?”—
skimping on the measure,
boosting the price
and cheating with dishonest scales,

 buying the poor with silver
and the needy for a pair of sandals,
selling even the sweepings with the wheat.

(Amos 8:4-6)

There are many Christians today who are, or who claim to be passionate about justice for the poor and the oppressed. Many are involved in food banks, support groups and campaigning, myself included. However, the challenge I received, and now pass on to you is this:

How do you ensure that you care about the poor and the oppressed in your whole life, and not just in the specific slots in a week where you serve a particularly church ministry in this area? For some of you, that will be easier, since your ministry is not your full-time job, and you are able to take your passion for justice into that other job, perhaps advocating for your colleagues and supporting them when they face challenges. However, for myself, and others like me, for whom church ministry is our full-time job, this is a bigger challenge. It is very easy for me to separate out these things into ‘my job’ and not live this out on my day off or when I have finished work for the day.

For me it might simply involve being aware of how I respond to those individuals who I work with during my ministries outside of those particular times, concentrating just as much on how I can show them God’s love then as I do on a Wednesday evening or a Sunday service. It may be wider than that, serving my local community outside of my work, or campaigning for justice in my local area. These are things that I am still exploring, but I invite you to join in with this exploration for yourself, and ask God how you can share his heart for the poor and the oppressed outside of particular ministry ‘slots’.

A Personal Psalm

It has come round surprisingly and scarily quick, but it is once again the time of year when I must start to look more specifically and directly towards the future post this year. In so doing, I must seek God’s guidance and look to hear His voice directing my steps. This week is a particularly significant one in my journey as I formally begin a process of exploring what work God might be calling me to in future. In this context then, my fellow interns and I were today asked to write our own personal psalms, expressing our thoughts and feelings towards God. Here is mine:

 

I exult you LORD, my Saviour and my Redeemer.

In the darkness, You give me your light,

Your word marks out my path,

and You make my feet as sure as a deer

on a mountain top.

 

Sovereign LORD, be my guide, for Your name’s sake.

I turn my eyes to You,

my Rock and my Fortress, my help and my Salvation.

 

Take me by the hand and lead me,

Show me the path to which You are calling me.

 

You have removed my sins from me,

as far as the east is from the west.

By Your great love for me

You have loosed the chains that bound me.

 

Since I was young You have held my hand,

From childhood You have called me.

 

In the midst of the raging storm You are my Prince of Peace.

Prince of Peace, Wonderful Counsellor,

Wherever I may go, you are there,

Your presence is always with me.

 

The future is misty and unclear,

but You know what lies ahead.

Let not fear and questions overwhelm me,

But hold me secure in Your hands,

placing each step where it should go.

 

Strengthen me and heal me,

Forgive me and restore me to Your joy.

Let Your love fill me to overflowing,

And renew a right spirit within me.

 

I will wait for you, O LORD;

You will answer, O Lord my God.

Reflections on the repairing of broken walls

All of us need walls as a defence against the pains and battles of life, for we are vulnerable, dependent beings. We were not created to be self-sufficient, independent and powerful against all things. We were created to live in God’s garden, to walk with the LORD in the “cool of the day”, and to live in the presence of the Mighty God. With the Fall, our needs have not changed, but instead of relying upon God for our needs, we have tried to take full control of our lives, to be independent of God, even to the point of making ourselves “like God”. As we did so, sin entered the world, and with it the pains of life and the battles we need enter in order to protect ourselves from them.

As we try to be self-sufficient and independent, we build defences for ourselves around us, physically, as in the walled cities of old, or the modern weapons of war, and also emotionally and spiritually. We all have these emotional and spiritual ‘walls’ around our heart, and yet we repeatedly find that they get broken, for all man-made walls, be they physical or otherwise, are as vulnerable as the walls of Jericho, which collapsed as they faced the power of the LORD. We often talk of God breaking down the man-made walls of our hearts, which is absolutely necessary, BUT a city without walls is a city without defence or protection, and God does not leave us defenceless. Rather, He repairs broken walls by His spirit, providing us with a perfect defence.

The walls of our hearts are broken by ourselves, the pains of life, by others and sometimes even as a necessity by God. God’s Spirit is the ONLY building tool which can build an impregnable wall around our hearts, defending us from evil and allowing in the love of God, and the gifts and fruits of the same Spirit by which our new walls have been built.

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